What's the Big Deal About Engagement Ring? A Little History and Culture of Engagement Ring

An Engagement ring is a ring that shows the person wearing it is betrothed to be married. In Nigeria, engagement rings are worn mostly by women, and rings can feature diamonds or other gemstones. When a man woos a woman he wants to marry, he presents an engagement ring to her while he proposes marriage or directly after she accepts his marriage proposal. It represents a formal agreement to future marriage.

The word “betrothed” comes from the Anglo-Saxon word “troweth,” which means truth.  In medieval England, a betrothed couple shared a “truth” or “pledge” to marry, and a ring served as the outward sign that a woman was promised to another. Before the engagement ring became a tradition, only royalty and the affluent had engagement rings that were typically gemstones encased in metal. It has always been a sort of "contract" between couple.

Below are some information on history and traditions through the ages and various cultures.

Engagement rings have been credited to Ancient Egypt, but an instance of exchanging rings can also be traced to Ancient Greece and Rome too.

In ancient Greece married couples weren't the only people who gifted each other gold jewels for their fingers — lovers did too (but with the inclination that they'd tie the knot soon enough)

In Ancient Egypt, men wore rings to symbolize their wealth, hence sharing one with their wife to represent the joint ownership of riches, the Egyptians wore their engagement ring on the ring finger and believed that the vein in the "ring finger" was directly connected to the heart.

Ancient Rome took the exchange one step further by having a betrothed couple's parents exchange tokens too. The Romans agreed and gave rings to their fiancé to prove their "ownership" of her to others.

In the Middle Ages, the Christian groom would give gemstones to the fiancé’s parents to show his intent for marrying her. Then he would place a ring on three of his bride's fingers to symbolize their belief in the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. The issue about period of engagement also arose in the Middle Ages, when, Pope Innocent III instituted a mandatory waiting period between betrothal and marriage.

In the 18th century, diamonds were found in large quantities in Brazil, making the diamond engagement ring more accessible. It the late 1800's an even larger supply of diamonds was found in South Africa, causing the prices for diamonds to drop. De Beers Consolidated Mines Ltd was in charge of mining it. They launched "A Diamond is Forever", marketing campaign to re-invigorate the diamond industry when it was going down. It was successful because it convinced families to retain their diamonds as heirlooms which caused a new demand for diamonds.

Today in Nigeria, diamond engagement or wedding rings represents social class. Social elite present diamond rings as a gift to their spouse to show how wealthy they are. This trend could be found more with people in the entertaining industries, billionaire heir and heiress and the royal families.

image by: bride.com

The History and Culture of Having Groomsmen and Bridesmaids in Wedding Party

Wedding are not just about the bride and groom alone; they’re also about exalting friends and family members who have supported and loved the couple throughout their relationship and in their individual lives. Wedding party history plays a big part in the roles of the bridesmaids and groomsmen in modern day weddings. In most cases, the bridal party doesn't realize that this custom was initiated with the groomsmen instead of the bride's attendants or bridesmaids. The history of weddings is actually quite interesting.

Wedding party tradition is common throughout Nigeria and the world, whether the bride and groom choose to have ten maids and men apiece or just one best woman and man is up to them. But when and where did this custom begin? 

The tradition of bridesmaids and groomsmen was instituted into wedding ceremony dates back to the ancient Rome. They believe back then that demons and forces are moving around to hunt down the new couple. Therefore, ten maids and ten men are to stand by the bride and groom to protect them from evil spirits. Bridesmaids and groomsmen dressed identically to the bride and groom, respectively, to confuse these malicious forces. This is in line with the notion that if all of the women and all of the men were dressed the same, then the vile demons would not be able to target the bride and groom specifically.

In the modern times especially in Nigeria the numbers of groomsmen and bridesmaids have reduced respectively. The distinctive dressing has also changed, many of the original duties perform by the best man and maid of honor hasn’t changed much; for example early weddings were held at the bride's home and the first "maid of honor" was likely a reliable and trustworthy family servant who attended to the bride's needs in the days preceding the wedding. Her duties likely included helping the bride gets dressed, making the bridal hairstyle and decorating for the wedding feast, collecting and packaging of household items for the bride to take her new home.

Recently the job of groomsmen is to plan bachelor party, usher wedding guest to their seat, escort bridesmaids down the aisle. Like the best man and the groomsmen, the bridesmaids and the maid of honor duty is to stand as witnesses for the ceremony, helping to validate its authenticity. The most prominent duty of the bridesmaids and groomsmen is to give toast to honor the bride and groom. In most Nigerian weddings only the maid of honor and the best man stand up to give the toast. 

image by flickr.com

Role Switching - See the New Role of a Man and Woman in Marriage

Have you ever for once seat back and contemplate about the role a man plays in a marriage and life in general with relation to his female counterpart. I can’t help but ponder how things going to play out if the roles are switched – the woman taking up the role or responsibility of the man and verse versa.

Let’s switch the role and ask ourselves some funny questions. What is going to happen if?

          A woman asked a man out and then takes him out on a date.
          A woman proposes to a man with diamond engagement ring.

·         A woman pays the groom-price of a man.

·         A woman is the breadwinner of the house.

·         A woman is the head of the home and the man is her helper.

·         A man takes up the last name of the woman.

·         The children also takes up the last name of the woman.

·         A man stays at home to take care of the children.

·         A woman punches and beat up a man whenever he offends her.

   A woman throws away a man luggage out, and then he comes crying and begging her not      to throw him out of the house.

    A man can conceive and bear children

Ah thank God this can only happen in the cartoon world. You are free to add your own imagination.

Kudos to the female gender for the tremendous role they have played in our family life, I like will to say that our women deserve the best; we must treat them with love and respect. In marriage everyone plays equal role. Therefore, partners need to put all hands on deck to make the home a happy place.

The Culture Of Wedding Ring And Its Meaning In Nigeria

Wedding ring signifies bond, everlasting love, togetherness till death do you part. It is the gift couple present to each other to bind their vows.

Most couples cherish the instant when they slip a ring on their partner. They look into each other eyes, knowing the fact they will be together from that day on. What most people don’t know is that this has been taking place for years and revolves around the giving of wedding rings. The implication and symbolization behind wedding rings is enormous and as complication as its own love story. I decide to write on this so that couples understand exactly why they exchange wedding rings.

The circle form which means forever, eternity, with no beginning or end, not only to Nigerians, but many other ancient cultures. The hole in the center of the ring also has its own meaning. It wasn’t just considered a space, but rather a gate way or door, leading to things and events both known and unknown. To a give woman a ring signifies never-ending and immortal love.

In Nigeria the culture of exchanging wedding rings was introduced by the missionaries. Our traditional marriages even till today do not recognize the wedding ring as a symbol of forever love. No wonder some religious group especially deeper life bible church etc do not use wedding rings. They use the bible as the gift they exchange with each other instead of a wedding ring. Their reason is based on the fact that the culture of wedding is pagan in nature and is not biblical inclined – According to then God almighty do not recognized it.

HISTORY OF WEDDING RING AND THE MEANING

As we all know the circle has always been significance from ancient culture to the present as a symbol of wholeness and perfection. Its endlessness is the perfect symbol of oneness and unity, no beginning, no end – what more could couple need than the unclouded wish to spend all time together? Some can go as far engraving romantic phrase within their wedding rings.

Early on, the caveman bound himself to his mate with a cord of woven rushes as a symbol that their spirits were one.

Ancient European Northern believed that a lover’s knot was a symbol of love, faith, and friendship. The knot was formed out of the hair of the beloved, woven into a knot that was then worn as a ring.

The roman’s also eventually adopted this tradition but with own twist. Rather than offering a ring to a woman as a symbol of love, they awarded them as a symbol of ownership. Roman men would claim their woman with the giving of a ring. Roman betrothal rings were later made of iron and called “Anulus pronubus’’.

Wedding ring came into use in Christian ceremonies about 870; even then, it was not the simple plain band as we know it today. It usually was highly decorated with engraved doves, lyres, or two linked hands. The church discouraged such ring as 'heathenish' - Believing on other gods. Around the 13^th to 16^th century, wedding and betrothal rings were considerably simplified, and given a more spiritual look which was very aptly expressed by a Bishop when he dubbed “symbol of the union of hearts.”

The habit of wearing the wedding ring on the fourth finger of the left hand is based upon a Grecian fable that the artery from that finger flows directly to the heart.

The wedding ring was also used as a symbol in Egyptian culture. The wedding band is mentioned in the hieroglyphics on walls of tombs interpreted by archeologists. Egyptian bands are usually heavy metal, encrusted with precious or semi-precious stones. In contrast, the average Roman citizen is reputed to have found “ugly metal bands” to suffice.

IN CONCLUSION there is a saying that says “The more expensive the material, the more love shown to the receiver; the value of the ring also demonstrated the wealth of the giver”.

 You are free to add to this article..your comments are welcome.

The Gem in a Good Man.....Qualities to Look for in Your Future Husband

Many a times, ladies base their choices on the man’s looks and his material acquisitions. Those are good but the big question is: does the man have the qualities that make a good husband? If the answer is no, then the marriage will not work.

When we think of young men today, we think of metro-sexual and unmanly guys who can't stand the test of time. It seems as though manly men are things of the past and now are officially gone. 

Never the less, there are fewer young men who qualify as marriage material today. Decent men still exist. Here are the Best qualities you should look for in the person you want to marry

God-fearing

A man who is faithful not only to you, but also to God, will make a great husband. A God-fearing man will let God unify and strengthen your relationship, will highly prioritize your marriage, and will make sure morals form the foundation of your family. This type of man will value and uphold the vows he made to you on your wedding day. He will also value your importance in his life as his wife and the mother to his children. 

Fidelity

No woman wants to see or even hear from gossip that her man is going out with another woman. As a result, faithfulness is one other best quality a lady desires so much in her future husband. A man who is a husband always remembers his marital vows. He is a man of honour and integrity, a husband a woman can trust, any day, any time.

Teaches you something new

Life with spouse will be pretty boring if you can’t learn from each other. It can be a lesson as small as how to operate the TV set or something more substantial, like how to fix the tap in the kitchen sink. Let’s also not forget there’s an inherent good feeling when you teach someone a new fact or skill.

Knows his purpose in life 

A man who knows his purpose in life is a man worth marrying. He will remain confident while pursuing his life's goals and what drives his soul. Because he knows his purpose, he will probably be more career-driven, despite any shortcomings he may face. Since he has this quality, he will continue to be an inspirational force in your life after you two are married.

Strong moral standard

A man who abides by a moral code is definitely a keeper. He is the type of man who knows the difference between right and wrong. He always ground his decisions in life on an understanding of a high moral standard. A man who prides himself in morality and becomes your future husband will definitely install moral values in your children.

Friendly Person

Being friendly disposed always, is one of the best qualities in a woman should look for in her future husband. An understanding, kind and warm man is the kind of husband every woman aspires to marry. He is always positive and friendly, not only to you but also to everyone he comes in contact with. Pride is not in his dictionary.

Makes you better

You want someone who brings out your best in you. A great way to tell if you and your partner should tie the knot is by honestly asking yourself, “Does this person make me better?”

Good relationship with his family

A man who has a close and loving relationship with his family is a man you want to be with. This type of man knows the importance of family and truly cherishes family time. He will most likely place great importance on family after he marries you and begins to raise a family with you. Also, a man who treats his mother with respect will most likely treat you with respect and is obviously worth having as a husband. 

Shares the same values

Compatibility is important, because you have to share the same values as your spouse, someone who is materialistic and enjoys splurging on extravagances probably won’t last very long with someone who is down-to-earth and likes to rough it. This is why celebrities marry other celebrities.

Reliability

Are you a reliable man? Are you responsible and supportive? These are those best qualities in a husband that every woman would like to experience. Can your wife count on you in all circumstances? Can you support her in the good and bad times? Can you care for her, no matter what? Can you answer in the affirmative to all these questions? Then that gem in a good husband is in you.

Hard work ethic 

A man who has a hard work ethic is marriage material. He will never give up when working towards his ambitions. He will always work hard to provide your future family financial support, no matter what circumstances come his way. He will also install this same value in your future children. A man stricken with a case of the "entitlement mentality" is not a great catch for your future anyways.  

Don’t be Told.... See Bridal Beauty Tips, Before You Say I do

Every bride whether in Nigeria or elsewhere, wants to look her best on her wedding day, but it’s hard not to panic when the wedding date draw nearer, with stress over planning the traditional wedding, seating arrangement, argued over the guest list and prudently applying your budget. And after all this you’re supposed to look gorgeous?

You may have dark circles, prickly legs, tangled hair and nerves shot to pieces, but there is a way to transform yourself from washed out wedding planner to beautiful bride - in only a matter of weeks!

If you've only got one month to go, don't freak-out, we have something for you and I hope these beauty tips will help you look beautiful on your big day.

Skincare

Eating and drinking well in the weeks leading up to your wedding is important. "Feeding your skin from the inside will give your complexion a boost. Eat a lot fruits and vegetable and have a handful of blueberries on your cereal as they're packed with anti-oxidants."

You should start preparing your skin as early as possible, so get plenty of sleep and drink lots of water. Any new beauty treatments should be tried one month before rather than a day before the wedding.

Weight Loss

For most Nigerian ladies, losing weight for your wedding dress is perhaps one of the most stressful parts of being a bride. When you have all eyes on you all day, you want to feel confident in your own skin.

Although a healthy diet and regular exercise are the best way to lose weight safely, there are some supplements and weight loss aids that can give you a little boost in the run-up to your big day.

Wedding make up

Before your wedding you should practice your make up at home. "Don't be tempted to try anything new on the day, because you won't feel comfortable and the groom might not recognize you!

Hair removal

For your wedding night and honeymoon, smooth limbs and a clean "Lady Garden" are a must, so you can feel sexy in your wedding lingerie.

Hair removal is usually a personal decision, so whether you prefer waxing, shaving or hair removal creams, stick to what works best for you - you don't want any adverse reactions in the lead up to your big day.

Nails

Your wedding day is the day your hands change forever - with your wedding ring. Not surprisingly you are going to want your hands looking as pristine as possible, especially for all those close-up photographs.

It is important to start to prep the nails at least a month before the big day to ensure they are looking their best.

"Moisturize your hands daily with a good quality hand cream that contains vitamins and minerals to solve any problem associated with dryness and ensure hands are silky smooth."

With weeks to go before the big day remember not to use your nails as tools, because it’s something we are all prone to.

Grooming

Getting gorgeous in time for your wedding is all about the detail – Mini pampering treatments and massages can help rest your body and spirits, and keep you calm at a stressful, but exciting time.

Paul Edmonds beauty team says: "A massage prior to a wedding is perfect preparation. It helps to relax and de-stress, great for easing the nerves. "A massage will manipulate the skin and body, as well as activate circulation and lymph drain. Finally, a massage will give a glow back to the body so you will be looking fresh for your big Nigerian wedding."

 

History and Importance of Wedding cake cutting in Nigeria

Before the coming of the colonial masters cake cutting was alien to us  in Nigeria, marriages was  about joining the couples together, with all the marriage rites and rituals perform after that the man takes this wife home.

However, in other part of the world especially in Europe wedding cake cutting has been in practiced, but the cake cutting practice was different from what is obtainable today – then the couple cut out piece of the cake, they splashes and scatter it on their head. This was a sign believe to signify that the union is doing to last and will be fruitful. The remaining will be cut and sent to family members that could not make it to the wedding.

Wedding cake was brought into NIGERIA by the colonial masters. They help spiced our wedding traditions by introducing wedding ceremonies/parties with cake an essential part of the celebration.

Cake cutting is not only restricted to wedding alone, cakes are found in everything occasion today. Eg birthday, house warming, naming ceremonies etc.

Wedding cake comes in different form, shape and sizes. It can be customize to suit your choice. Wedding cake has gradually become an integral part of any wedding celebration. Some school of thought believe the bigger your cake the more glamorous your ceremony will be.

Let me conclude with words of 21^st century housewife kitchen "cakes are for me an antidote to the stresses of modern living. Although like all great things, it is necessary to enjoy them in moderation, cakes are a big part of our lives. Cake baking is also great fun, and something to enjoy during times of celebration as well. Then of course, there is the very best bit – the eating. How an alchemy of eggs, butter, flour and a few other ingredients can create something that gives such pleasure will always be a mystery to me. But it is a mystery I am very happy to continue to try to solve’’